Ohio State Buckeyes 

The boys of Marion, Ohio, and Pleasant High fame were reunited once again. I don't have to tell you that it felt so good. On the eve of the OSU/Illinois game, I came up to CBus a day early to hang out with my boys, the Weedwacker and TCom.

We took in a few Big 10 games during the day. It was great to see Michigan State lose to Minnesota, Indiana tank against Iowa, and Michigan fall to Purdue. Big 10 basketball is fantastic.

We took in a little Mike Jones during our pre-game festivities, and the boys were ready to hit the town.

We went to this little Pub on the Short North, where the beer was flowing like water. The Wacker and I were killing Pabst's Blue Ribbon (PBR) like we were still big men on campus.

After a little while, TCom's cousin met us there. His father is a team doctor for the Cleveland Browns. I could barely hold myself back from asking him how the Soldier (Kellen Winslow Jr.) was doing.

Out of nowhere, Mike Valpredo shows up. This is the Mike Valpredo of Columbus NBC fame. He's a sportscaster. Valpredo is a friend of a friend of Tcom. If you thought that the Sandwasher would be ecstatic to hang out with someone who's rubbed elbows with the likes of Rudy Johnson, Carson Palmer, and Frisman Jackson, you would be correct. That is until Valpredo turned out to be a Class A turd. There's a reason Dad Sandwasher once chided that "Valpredo looks like he's never gotten his hands dirty."

After a few more hours, the natives began to get restless. To the chagrin of the Wacker and me, we headed out to another bar. The Wacker and I had TiVoed the Stanford/Gonzaga game and were ready to roll home. This club was a "Valpredo" spot. It just wasn't my style. I'm a tennis shoe-wearing kind of guy. There were people walking around the hotspot wearing tuxedos. I think it goes without saying that PBR wasn't served at this establishment.

We did get home in time to enjoy a little bit of the game before I feel asleep a little before 2 bells on the couch. I'm absolutely pathetic. My days of staying up until 4/5 in the morning are long over. The Wacker had to send me up to bed like my dad. It was a sorry turn of events.

One quick note about the Stanford/'Zaga game. All the fans had fake moustaches. I can't complain too much, because you have 80-year-old fans sitting close to the action at OSU games wearing stupid buckeye necklaces. But, if you are in college, what's stopping you from growing a real mustache in tribute to the greatest college basketball player since Larry Joe Bird? What's stopping them from growing a cool 'stache; that 3:30 class; the minimum wage job at Starbucks? There's no excuse.

What Time Is It? Game Time!!!

The Weedwacker and I woke up showing little wear and tear from the night before. I think the 11+ hours of sleep helped with that. We quickly devised a game plan and quickly went to work. We were going to do the "3 S's" (shower, shave, and I'll let you figure out the last "S"), grab a quick bite to eat at Bob Evans, and then arrive at the Schott at about 12:20 to take in a little pre-game action.

Our plan was quickly foiled. We each successfully completed the "3 S's" without a hitch, but neither of us realized that Bob Evans was America's Sunday morning restaurant. Maybe if one of us had attended church on a requisite level, we would have been wise to this little secret.

We didn't have the time or patience to wait at Bob's, so we decided to go to Burger King. The only problem was that we were left with way too much time.

The Weedwacker and I were going to kill some time at Barnes and Noble, but the Weedwacker had food lodged into his recently completed dental work. I guess the Wacker just had 4 wisdom teeth pulled by some British dentist. This dentist had left major "flesh wounds" in the back of the Wacker's mouth, and he somehow logged food in there. I'm getting sick just thinking about it.

Because there wasn't a toothpick to be found, The Wacker tried to use a coffee stirrer from Barnes and Noble (I'm breaking my all time record for most corporate entities mentioned in one article), but he only pushed the food deeper into the wound. We had to cut our magazine perusal short so the Wacker could go back to his house to brush his teeth.

I was hoping the Buckeyes had a better game plan than us. This had all the makings of being a bad Fox network reality show (There's my dig at Fox for canceling the all-time best television show, Arrested Development).

Fifteen minutes later, the Wacker returns with the food still stuck in his teeth. He's really starting to make me sick to my stomach. After the night prior, I was feeling surprisingly good, but I didn't say my stomach was lined of iron. He was making me queasy.

I suggested that we stop by the Varsity Club on our way there to get a toothpick. I told him that as soon as we entered the arena that he needed to go to the bathroom and take care of that. I didn't want him to mention it again.

The Wacker failed to heed my advice, and we went to our seats. I tried to enjoy the pre-game festivities. I was taking pictures of former Buckeye great and CBS announcer Clark Kellogg, Illinois warming up, and the Wacker and me.

The Wacker was getting pissed that I kept talking to him and taking our pictures while he was trying to concentrate on his dislodged food.

Wacker: "You need to let me focus for a second. Stop dicking around."
Washer: "I told you to take care of your business in the restroom. You're not only grossing me out but all of the patrons around us."
Wacker: "Screw you Washer."

After a few more pictures...

Wacker: "Yes, I got it."

I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

I knew the crowd would be rearing to go for this game. Illinois came to Columbus with a No. 9 ranking and a lot of hype. I knew it was a good sign when we entered the arena 40 minutes early and it was already packed. OSU fans typically have a listless attitude towards basketball games, routinely showing up just minutes before tip off. This wasn't the case.

For the first time all season, OSU's media department showed the outside of the Buckeyes locker room before the team ran out on the floor. I can't tell you how clutch this was. The crowd went nuts as the Buckeyes exploded out of the locker room door. We got to watch as the Buckeyes jumped and pushed each other through the hallways, psyching each other up. The crowd was at a fever pitch before the team even reached the floor.

With about 2 minutes before tip off, OSU's coach and savior, Thad Matta, nonchalantly walked out of the locker room and past the Illinois bench with the crowd savoring every moment.

After OSU won the tip off, I said to Wacker that "A 3 would be sweet here." I got my wish. Matt Sylvester launched a 3, but I don't think it hit anything, not even the backboard. After a defensive stop, the Bucks got the ball down low to Terence Dials for a deuce. That would be the start of a special day for Dials. He played with vigor and heart that we haven't seen in a long time. Dials finished with 19 points and 16 boards. That was unthinkable after his abysmal game against Michigan on Thursday.

At the 16-minute television timeout, Je'Kel Foster was already 2-for-2 from the 3-point line. OSU had jumped out to an early lead, but Illinois was imposing their will down low.

After the 12 minute television timeout, Dials came out with an "And1" dunk. It seemed like the Buckeyes had a big play after every timeout on this day. The plays that Matta called were beautiful and the players executed them brilliantly.

With more than half of the first half over, Jamar Butler exploded for two 3's and Foster hit his fourth 3 in a row to burst out to a 33-24 lead. OSU was waxing Illinois. I thought OSU could play with Illinois, but I didn't expect this type of exceptional display both offensively and defensively.

It was kind of sloppy for both teams at the end of the half. OSU held on to a 9 point lead, 37-26.

Dee Brown was held to just 2 points in the first half. OSU didn't allow Brown to have even one of his famous coast-to-coast fast breaks. The pressure that Foster and Butler put on Brown was quite remarkable. James Augustine was keeping the Illini alive with 11 points (Unfortunately for the Illini, Augustine didn't score another point). My Uncle Kevin made a great point after the game. Just like Thursday night's game against Michigan and Courtney Sims, OSU didn't have an answer for Augustine. But, for whatever reason, Illinois stopped running plays for him.

Throughout the first half, Foster, Butler, and Dials were clutch for the Bucks.

At the half, I was exhausted. My voice was almost gone, my head had a pulse, and my hands were sore. I was so hot that I had to go out to the smoking terrace to get some cold air.

At the start of the second half, I saw the greatest live play of my life. Je'Kel Foster knocked the ball away from the Illini. He caught up with the ball and threw it over his head as he dove over the Illini bench. I held my breath as the ball hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity. I could see Dee Brown snatching the ball out of the air and barring a 3. But, Butler snatched the ball out of the air and went down the court without numbers (1-2). I thought he was going to pull the ball back out, but he pulled up to the left of the point and nailed a 3 over Brown. The Schott absolutely erupted. Easily the loudest that I've ever been privy to.

On the very next series, more outstanding defense lead to an Illini stop, and Butler came down and buried another 3. If you watch Matta's team, he does an incredible job of motivating this team at the half. OSU comes out and plays defense on a different level. It's like the Chicago Bulls teams of the '90s. Frequently, Illinois couldn't even get into their offense.

Midway through the second half, Illinois made one last run and got within 9 points, but OSU displayed excellent poise and confidence, quickly putting the lead back out of reach. Butler finished with a game high 22 points and Foster added 18.

OSU ran away from the No. 9 team in the country, 69-53. It was a great day to be a Buckeye. College basketball is funny. When the week started, I was hoping for a split this week (Michigan/Illinois), and after the Bucks beat both teams, I'm thinking of running the table and claiming a number 1 seed in the "Big Dance."